Anyway, I wanna thank you very much once more for coming
This is my favorite thing to do, to perform
Ah, and you coming allows me to do that
And I really, really do appreciate that
Honestly and genuinely
I will now resit back in my stage persona

I just blacked out for ten seconds

Love songs used to be so beautiful, you know?
"Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky"
"Like a patient etherized upon a table"
T.S. Elliot, beautiful

Love songs nowadays just as beautiful, guys, if not more
Justin Bieber, One Direction, Usher, you know them
You know their love songs
Beautiful, complex love songs
But these new artists, the J Biebs, the One D's, the Usher's
They've have done some very strange-
The format, the structure and the purpose of love songs
I tried to capture how they've changed it with this love song
I hope you enjoy it and most importantly, mark the differences

Jason Derulo

I love your hair, I love your name, I love the way you say it
I love your heart and you're so smart, 'cause you gave away it
I love your sis', I love your dad, I love your mum
But more than all of that I love the fact that you are dumb enough
To not realize everything I've said has been said before
In a thousand ways, in a thousand songs, some with the same four chords
But you'll still love it, let me finger you, yeah finger you, finger you

Oh girl, I hope you don't think that I'm rude
When I tell you that I love you boo
I also hope that you don't see through
This cleverly constructed ruse
Designed by a marketing team
Cashing in on puberty and low self-esteem
And girls' desperate need to feel loved

America says we love a chorus
But don't get complicated and bore us
Though meaning might be missin'
We need to know the words after just one listen so...

I love my baby and you know I couldn't live without her
But now I need to make every girl think this song's about her
Just to make sure that they spread it like the plague
So I describe my dream girl as really really vague, like
"I love your hands 'cause your fingerprints are like no other"
"I love your eyes and their blueish brownish greenish color"
"I love it when you smile, that you smile wide"
"And I love how your torso has an arm on either side"
Now, if you're my agent you might be thinking
"Oh no, sound the alarms"
"You're not appealing to little girls who don't have arms"
But they can't use it, so... fuck 'em, who needs 'em

Oh girl, oh hello satan
Satan, you taste so good

C'mon, louder, I can't hear you
(Repeat stuff, repeat stuff, repeat stuff)

Young ones, listen up
I'm in magazines full of model teens, so far above you
So read them and hate yourself, and pay me to tell you I love you
I love you
And your parents will always come along, because their little girl is in love
And how could love be wrong? How could love be wrong? When you

We know it's not right, we know it's not funny
But we'll stop beating this dead horse when it stops spitting out money
But until then, we will repeat stuff